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September 12, 2016

Wanderlost |ˈwɒndəlɒst|

noun [ mass noun ]

One who is in denial of having a strong desire to travel : a 20-something man consumed by an identity crisis.

ORIGIN early 20th cent.: from German Wanderlust .

From what I hear your early twenties are for you to find yourself, this is also the cliche of the century.From day one I knew who I was. Lotta, the socially awkward TCK with an aptly awkward scandinavian name to match, who loves lingerie and spends way too much time worrying. The rest for me was set: Get a job, be happy. I looked at my friends who went to great lengths and dramatic changes to find out who they are, from dumping long time boyfriends for a string of gruesome one night stands to travelling the world one insta-food picture at a time. I found all of this rather silly, way over the top hollywood and I could never relate to it. I never understood how you could just leave someone or something you cared about just because you felt lost in yourself. I don’t know wether it’s the undying romantic in me or the complete skeptic side of my brain, but this truly is the equivalent of breaking up with somebody because you are in a committed relationship with jesus. In other words a cop out people use when they wanted to do something, but wanted none of the consequences. It wasn’t until I had a conversation with a friend of mine when I was feeling particularly unhappy with myself that I realised I too am one of those assholes. No I didn’t pretend like I was lost in myself in order to loose a boyfriend, and I am guilty of a few insta food pics but none of the interesting kind. But I suddenly realised not only was I one of these cliche young adults looking for myself, I am a cliche young adult in denial. I am wanderlost.
In the past three years since graduating high school I have:
-Gone to three different universities (I am still sans degree)
-Tried out three vastly different hair cuts (with vastly different personalities attached)
-Gone back and forth between boyfriends
-Re-invented myself via my closet five times
-Gotten tattoos (my rebellious phase that I neglected to have in my teen years)
-Been in a hideous on/off love affair with curating this blog
-Moved from Munich to Dubai, back to Munich, then to London once again back to Munich to Denmark and now to Shanghai.

All to come to one single conclusion: No matter how many times I move, I am still the same asshole of a cliche. Just with a few more palm trees around me.
So here is to a new section of the blog titled wonderlost: Where I, Lotta-Liina, solemly swear to find my self and stick to it. I promise to try be a little bit less of a cliche, but I can’t promise I won’t be one of the millennial idiots roaming around the globe as well as the internet trying to find a calling in life.
In as little words as possible: I will not go find myself but rather add on to my already present (but meager)  existence. Also I won’t do it quietly.

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Discussion about this post

  1. Acton says:

    Really nice 🙂 Amazing total look
    I love so much this your looking 🙂

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