Lazy Mans Guide to Self-Love
Lazy Mans Guide to self-love? There is none. Literally been…
*SPOILER ALERT* this does not have a happy ending.
I turned 22 a few weeks ago. The love/meh relationship I already have with birthdays is fragile enough as it is, to put on top my technical fear of getting older (it’s really just another year of me not really doing anything… or so it seems) this year it was amplified by the fact that the majority of it was spent here in the hick town of Herning. There something so magical about a birthday that really gets those wheels of thought rolling. Rolling so hard in fact I feel that they are no longer in tact. I feel so far that I have only aged physically. Cellulite age 19 and boobs aged 21 so far have been the biggest changes. But from looking at my social behaviour and my current tendencies to live as a hermit have I really matured from that 16 year old girl, who tried to down 16 shots of tequila (that lets face it was probably just ethanol extracted from nail varnish). Probing through my own head and thoughts I jotted down each thought I had on my 22 birthday, just so I can do the same next year. This way I guess I can finally truly tell if ageing is a real thing, and if so is it really something to be so afraid of?
Out of the 671 full formed jotted down thoughts here are the top 22. Just purely for amusement.
1.What the fuck is 22?
2.Why do I feel that having to say I’m 22 makes me feel like I’m telling people I’m thirty. is it really that different from 21?
3.Instead of 22 shots maybe I should go try and accomplish eating 22 nuggets.
4.That really wasn’t money well spent. You still spend as idiotically as the 16 year old you.
5.Can I wear pajamas outside of the house? well fuck it. Today I can.
6.Ah the uncomfortable limbo of one of those days where you should celebrate. Not because you want to but because it happens once a year and yeah #FOMO
7.#FOMO for your 22 birthday? God forbid you ever have to tell someones grand kids the tragedy of how you missed out your 22 birthday.
8.Next time someone asks me if I’m feeling older I’ll just say no, but I saw a dead animal carcass. That should stop the birthday themed conversations.
9.Jesus, bad idea. Now they want to talk about the Animal carcass.
10.DAMN this tiara goes with like every outfit.
11.Let’s not drink today, red wine always gives you terrible headaches and you’re flying off to London tomorrow.
12.WOOP I’M WASTED. 2 glasses down and you’re drunk. Good to know you’re still a lightweight at 22.
13.Should I do a drunk blog post? How about doing a whole entire drunk blog..
14.What is a blog anyways? and what the hell am I doing with mine?
15.I wonder at what point in your life do you need to stop wearing dungarees? If I make it past 25 I want to be that 60 year old woman still in her denim dungarees.
16.Is it time for me to get a tattoo yet? I wonder what year I’ll be adult enough to actually go through with this plan.
17.I’ll probably never get a tattoo.. I hate needles.
18.Speaking of needles, I should really look into getting one of those nail ended bracelets.
19.Speaking of getting some… I should probably get back to focusing on blogging. It could be useful if I change up the concept. Nobody really cares about how much you love to wear socks with sandals.
20.I’m so eating cake for breakfast tomorrow. If It’s the first thing I do of officially being 22 for a day.
21.I’ll probably end up sobbing in the cake anyways. And ruining whatever nice present I got for myself.
22.Next year lets skip your birthday and just celebrate the last day of being 22. It’ll be like reverse ageing.
BIRTHDAY SUIT H&M_LACE BODICE MISSGUIDED_TIARA GLITTER